37 weeks and the Nerves are Boiling!

Today I have my 37 week doctor check up, and even though chances are it will just be another normally awkward visit, I have these fears/worries building up, that when I go in they will see something or recognize something for me to head right to the hospital. Maybe I am letting other people's baby stories get to me and cause a little anxiety for myself, but because these sort of things are SO unpredictable it is hard to not to wonder and think of all the random possibilities.

Friend worry-me-story #1: I had a friend that went in for her 37 week appointment and they found she was low on amniotic fluid and that the baby was breach and almost coming out- so they sent her right to the hospital for an emergency C-section. It took her completely off guard and she was not excepting it in any way, shape, or form that she would be having her baby that day- but it happened, and now they are doing great and everything is dandy- but the story still makes me feel a little worried, cuz if you hadn't noticed already, I am in my 37 week too!

Friend worry-me-story #2: Another friend told me of the situation with her first born. They went in for a quick check-up to see if it was okay for them to go see family for the thanksgiving break. So the Doc asked if she had been feeling anything as far as contractions, and how she was feeling overall, she reported that everything felt normal and great, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The doc ran a few scans and tests, and came back in the room to report that she was "IN LABOR RIGHT NOW!" and that she was gonna have her baby that DAY! She didn't feel anything beyond the normal aches of being big and pregnant, but she was apparently in labor and due for having a baby. This story makes me worry/wonder cuz I too haven't really felt much different, but maybe I have had contractions and I just don't know it....

Friend/Family worry-me-story #3: Luckily I made it past thanksgiving and was able to see family one last time before the baby comes, but because I was with family I got to hear lots of different situations from my sister's birthing experiences. Some went two weeks early (which if I were to be like them- I would be delivering sometime this week!) and some went two-three weeks late (as nervous as I am about it all, I am really hope it wont go this long!). They always say you can follow similar patterns as your sisters, but because they is such a broad range of differences, it makes me a little nervous to when it will all play out for me!

Overall, I am prob making this a bigger deal than it is, or that it needs to be, cuz I am just good at being like that. But I won't deny that I sure do think about it all A LOT (how could I not, I have never been through something like this before)! But in a more positive note, because I am such a worry wart about things, it makes me do something about it all- and I have officially put together a go-to-hospital get-up. I know in all the millions of pregnancy books and websites they say to have all this ready anyways, but for my sanity's sake, I am glad I got mine together. I have the luggage, baby bag and car seat all ready and set in the car, so that if something comes up and I space out before getting to the car- hopefully I wont forget it cuz it will already be in the car!

I am excited, I really am, even though with all my worry writings I might sound a little freaked out (which I am too, remember this is something I have never experienced before, how could I not be a little ancy about it all), but I am excited. I know every person's story, every person's birthing experience is different and unique to them and their baby- but when it all comes down to it there is always a common element- their lives will never be the same again! And maybe that's the part that makes me the most nervous, this is the very much "unknown" that I am nervous/excited for that will come as a result of the anxious hospital/birthing moments. Once this baby pops out I will have officially entered into the realm of parenthood- never to turn back (not that was planning to turn back).

Being a parent is something so unique, yet so common and universal, and more or less most people will experience it- so if it is so common, why am I making such a big deal about it? I am not sure, other than even though it is so common, it is still something I personally have not ventured into and crossed the threshold into yet. I can look at all these other stories, or look at other families and "think" I know what it will be like because of what I see in others, but no matter how much I see, I really wont know until I have experienced it myself. I know that things will work out and it all will be great no matter how it turns out, but either way it still wracks my brain- and I will be done now blabbering about this, cuz I could prob go on for a long time.

I am excited and when it all happens, and I will be writing about it too!

As with a final note: here are some more picture updates: here's my lovely baby hump:

Lovely pictures taken by my amazing photographer sister: Andrea Whatcott- isn't she good!?
Anyway, that's all for today (and I will try not to worry so much)...till next time!

33 Weeks Down...and it has been a while!

It has come to my recent attention that it has been a while, maybe too long, since I've last updated here, although no one really reads this blog anyway, so I guess the "no ones" aren't missing out on much. But I guess for mental clearing and in case there is a random reader, I will still update.


http://www.askamum.co.uk/Birth/Search-Results/Preparing-for-labour/Are-natural-childbirth-classes-a-waste-of-time/

Let's see, where to begin? We have officially finished our first three week birthing class. I don't know that I would have called it a birthing class though. When I think of birthing classes I think of the parents-to-be or at least the Mommy's-to-be doing lots of breathing and relaxing stuff like they are in some kind of yoga class, but this class was non the like at all. It was offered by the clinic I am going to and although it wasn't what I expected, it was a nice treat. They were taught by the different doctors that are at the clinic which was nice to get to know them better this way than the usual quick fast check ups I get where it is usually a busy "hi" and "good-bye". It was also nice because they talked about a lot of different things to expect through it all, and even though I have heard a lot and read a lot about this kind of stuff, it was nice to hear it from a perspective of the literal people that will be helping me here, and that it came from a perspective of the town and hospital that I will be going to. And a fun note too, last night, our last night they let us play on the "birthing balls" which are basically the big exercising balls, and they taught us different techniques and positions that we can do on them that will help ease pain and distract from the pain, I had so much with them Michael ended up getting one for me after the class was over- I am pretty excited about it. And also as a fun extra bonus they did a drawing at the end and we won a free thermometer that is a special three in one- it can do oral, arm pit and butt (hopefully not all three at once though, might not be the most sanitary)!

Speaking of butt and the birthing ball and pain...I have really been wanting a bath. It will be nice to have the birthing ball, or exercise ball, to help relieve pain, but it doesn't take away from the fact and my long desires for a nice warm bath! It seems like each day my body aches and hurts a little more each day, and when I wake up my body just cries out in ouch-ness, begging me to not get out bed cuz I just hurt (OK so maybe I am exaggerating a little, but it still does hurt) and it seems like the only thing that comes to my mind that would make me feel better is a nice warm bath, and maybe the fact I can't have one has made my mind more determined that's what I need because I can't actually do it to prove/disprove my theory if that's what I need. Yes, that's right, we have a standing shower which equals no baths for me!

Oh well, I guess you don't always get what you want, at least we are moving come Christmas time, and that is certainly one of the top things to do my list when get settled in the new place- I am taking a bath!!

Speaking of moving...yes that's right, we are moving, the same week I am due. I have been told my some that it was really bad planning on my part, maybe it was, but I see it as being a nice benefit. We'll be moving into our bigger place just in time to get things settled for the new member of our family, other words it will get it's own room (although I am sure it will prob still sleep in our room for the first little while), or at least it gets its own room that I can finally start decorating and all that fun stuff. Also, Michael was able to get a week off of work during this same moving/being due week, so it will help out a ton him being around 24-7 in case we need to head to the hospital, and so he can help carry the big stuff (other words do most of the moving). On another good note, since we are moving (and it is only to the down stairs apartment) maybe all the going up and down the stairs will help me kick into labor and actually having the baby the week that I would need Michael the most to be there with me. So long story short: get a nice bath, get Michael for a week, get a second bedroom (with carpet, I might add, this current apt is all wood flooring and as pretty as it is, I really miss being able to walk on carpet!), I might kick into labor and have the baby, and it will be Christmas- does that sound like bad timing? I think ideal timing sounds like a better term for me, at least I hope it will actually work out that way!

33 weeks, almost 34....let me explain...no let me sum up....Is it really that close to 40 weeks? We could be parents come any time more or less from now till about eight weeks away (at most...hopefully). I am excited, I am nervous, I am tired, I am scared, but I am excited. I have always, or mostly always, been nervous/afraid of the unknown, which thus adds to my major worry wart-nesses and wondering/worrying what it will be like, but I am excited. Like I have said in previous posts, I excited to be a parent, I just hope I will be the parent this little person will need, cuz ready or not here she comes (soon)!

Oh yes and how could I forget, here is an update pic of the lovely plump hanging out...This was at 32 weeks.

Hope you have a wonderful day!

26 weeks down, 14 to go- and lots of random thoughts!

I am down to my 26th week, almost entering into the third and final trimester of the pregnancy. Boy has time really gone by fast and it is continuing to do so. I have been feeling a greater amount of movements, or at least ones with much more powerful kicks to them-it gives a funny tummy flutter feeling, almost like I am riding a roller coaster all the time and it is making my tummy twirl!

 Speaking of roller coasters, it has also been great fun trying to control my emotional rollercoster, and not let it get out of hand. Most of the time I am doing good, but every now and then I break down and start crying, or feel sad for no seeming apart reason-which I am sure hasn't been easy for Michael, thinking that he did something wrong, which of course he hasn't, he really has been so good to me this whole pregnancy and everything in general. He truly is a wonderful helper in this journey, I feel so honored to have him there by my side through this all, I don't know how those women out there that are single or with lacking good husbands do it alone!

Food is finally wonderfully yummy to eat again, it has taken me a while to start really enjoying it again, now the fun challenge is trying to make sure I don't enjoy it too much and over do it!

                                                  Vs.

 On the same note, I have been trying to keep up some kind of exercise whether walking or biking to work/internship to sort of help maintain my sanity and own health- which amazingly makes me feel so much better when I do exercise. I have never really been one to exercise through any phase of my life, so getting into it now has been a great experience.

I was discussing with a friend yesterday the thought that maybe this little girl could actually be a boy.

 I have the thought cross my mind each day, and really wonder how it will turn out. Even though we had the ultrasound and the doctor said, "Probably a girl" I sometimes, many times, can't help but think that her "probably" doesn't sound very reassuring. Don't get me wrong, I am excited either way, and will love it whether it really is a girl, or turns a surprise for us and is a boy instead, but I really can't help but wonder how it will go. I guess the only really true answer to knowing the gender is child birth, but the anticipation for it all is just so much to take sometimes!! okay not really, but either way, I still am very curious to see how it will go!

Cloth or Disposable diapers?

vs.

I have been thinking about it a lot lately as well. I know we still have a little while before we will venture into the lovely long pursuit of daily diaper changing, but I have been thinking of the possibilities of it now, in that with our budget, it has been working out great to slowly buy things now, instead of having to spend a bombardment of things in a few months. Which thus brings me to thinking about diapers more, since if we did decide cloth, we could buy them now (at least most of them) and be pretty much set for the diapering years. Of course there are its pros and cons to the different kinds, one is much more expensive, the other is more work, and potentially more mess. One is more safe as far as chemicals go, yet the other is more convenient. I have wracked up quit the pros and cons list for both sides and I guess what it really comes down to is: can I really do it? Can I do it, as in am I REALLY willing to make the commitment of the extra work it could take- it is this little thought process that has kept me from entirely going out and buying the cloth ones, in a fear that I would spend all this money on something that I end up never using...I know some would prob think I am crazy for even making the considerations and would just go all disposable, but there is something about it that keeps me thinking about it....anyway, just more random thoughts.

Memory- memory is a funny thing. I used to think I had a really good memory, and maybe I did. But when they say that there is a "prego-brain" they weren't kidding, at least in my case. Michael thinks I am crazy, but it is amazing to how much I feel like I am forgetting all the time compared to before, and if it wasn't for my handy planner where I write everything down, I am not sure what I'd be doing. Makes me glad I am not taking a semester full of classes where I would have to remember a lot more with homework and assignments! On similar lines as memory, clumsiness.

 I thought that was another crazy pregnancy myth sort of thing that you are more clumsy when you are pregnant, but I am seeing more and more truth to it each day. Luckily I haven't fallen into the clumsy feet trap yet, but my hands are going crazy. It is a weird sensation to feel like you have a firm grip on things and then it seems to magically fall out of your hands all the time- and it is usually food on to my lap- they should make pregnancy bibs. I cant number how many times I drop things out of my hands throughout the day, and it just feels so weird because I feel like I have no control over it when it happens.

I know this post has been full of a bunch of random thoughts...but I guess that's how my days are anyway- So welcome to a little taste of my every days. But overall it has been a sweet and rewarding experience being pregnant. Some days it really isn't easy, and some days it really is scary thinking about it all and what have I really gotten myself into, but at the same time, what an honor it really has been to think that we (as in Michael and I) have the honor and privilege to carry and bring into this world a little life, a little spirit and help them figure out things in this life and be its earthy parents. Maybe in a sense this is my greatest challenge now is taking in the fact that this is really gonna happen and accepting this great honor to be a parent- to REALLY be a parent and to be ready for all the responsibilities that will come with this great privilege. I know things will work out and be okay when it comes down to it, but it doesn't take away from the fact that it is still interesting and challenging to take in. And when it really comes down to it too, our lives will never be the same again, am I ready for this? I hope so, I plan so.

It's a Girl....So we think

We had our second ultrasound this last weekend and the results are is she is doing well, healthy in all ways that can be seen. Weighs 13oz and is about 6 and half inches. And yes that's right it is a little girl! Well at least as much as the doctor could tell because she was crossing her legs, but there were no signs of boy parts, so it looked much like it could be a little girl squirming and twirling inside me.

Here is a shot of her little foot, isn't it so cute and little, like you could just tickle it ;)

Here is a shot of her little spine, looks like she has all her little vertebrates that she needs and it has a nice arch to it!

We are so glad and excited that she is doing well and progressing as normal as she should be.

Alive and Kicking- WELL!

I have recently been introduced to a new challenge, that I am sure will only be consistent through the remainder of my pregnancy and possibly even get worse the more I go along. Yes that's right I have been introduced to many frequent needs to pee through the night. For most of my life I figured this would be a minor detail because I thought I had good bladder control and could make myself sleep through the night no matter how badly I needed to pee, but boy was I wrong, when the need to pee hits, no more sleep for me until I get up and get to the toilet!

Doesn't this bed look so nice and comfy? That's what I have to keep trying to convince myself, but no matter how hard I try it doesn't seem to fully register to my body-thus the second delima that I now deal with, that will prob last through the end as well, is trying to get a good nights sleep without having to toss and turn trying to get comfortable, it is just the beginning of a long couple of months of good times ahead ;)

On other notes here is my first official "Prego Picture" or whatever people call them now days of which I am willing to publicly share. Just taken last night by my lovely husband. Here is me at nineteen weeks (yes that's right, nineteen weeks, that means I get to find out what the little swimmer is next week, I will be sure to have an update for it!): 

Here is a glance with and without my arms in the way, take it or leave it, which ever one suits you best. Just a little side note: if you notice the lovely black layer under my red shirt, it is actually not an undershirt, but a "Bella Band," I heard about these brilliant things and had to try one for myself. They serve as like a maternity pants strip, without the pants part. You can put it around the waist of your pant line to either hold up too big pants like a belt (which is what it is doing for me right now) or you can use it to cover up your pants being unbuttoned or unzipped because you are getting too big to do either. It is a great novel idea to help you stay into your pre-pregnancy pants longer than you might normally be able to. And it is my goal/hope that I will be able to keep it through the pregnancy for all or at least most my pants so I hopefully wont have to buy too many maternity pants, we'll see how it goes!

Oh yes and one last thing, the little guy is defiantly alive and kicking, I feel it move about once or twice every hour or so, give or take, it is a new sensation that it is not easy to get used to, but it is certainly fun to think about. It really is a great phenomena that from an insert of a little microscopic sperm entered to me by my lovely husband at the right time and right place starts the creation of a new living thing, that will eventually be a living breathing individual person mixed with some of my husbands and I personal genes and spirit of their own blessed from their Heavenly Father! It is a very unique and miraculous process-I feel blessed with the opportunity to be taking part in it, and I really hope I'll be the parent this new lovely little individual will need to make through in this life!

Till next time...

Challenges...or Just interesting experiences

Down to the second doctor appointment, the one I absolutely couldn't wait for...actually I could wait a really long time for...but thinking of the health of the baby, and well my health too, it was worth the experience. It wasn't as bad as I figured it would be, but still interesting. This visit I had the lovely pap smear, some blood drawn for testing, the breast exam, and of course we mustin forget the usual fun times of peeing into a cup (my aim is slowly getting better, in case you want to know ;). But amongst all this loads of fun, my doctor was nice enough to treat us with hearing the heart beat for the first time just before leaving, it defiantly made the whole duration worth it at the end. It was a another lovely fun reminder that there is a little "apple" growing inside me (it's sad, I know, but some days I forget I am pregnant). But my all time favorite is to see Michael's face and expressions when we get little tastes of the life growing inside me. He has a priceless excited look on his face, with a hint of "aww..." when he smiles. I am so glad he is there for me and with me in this lovely journey, he is going to be such a wonderful little daddy!

On another note, here is a little update from my favorite website about how the baby is doing (relatively speaking) and to your satisfaction (Heather), it is no longer a little prune ;)

http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/week-by-week/week-14.aspx

The Baby at Week 14
"Now the size of your clenched fist, your baby is more fluid-like in his movements, so he’s no longer doing the jerk every time he repositions his arms and legs. Other developments this week include a roof of his own (inside his mouth, that is) as well as intestinal activity: His intestines are producing meconium (which is the waste that will make up his first bowel movement after birth). He is also sporting a downy coating of hair (lanugo) that keeps him nice and warm. Not to worry — you won't give birth to a monkey; baby fat will accumulate over the next few months and take over the function of keeping your baby warm and toasty —allowing most of that hair to shed." (http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/week-by-week/week-14.aspx)
 
 
Oh and another fun side note: at this very moment Michael is already putting together a bassinet that his parent's sent us that we got today, little early I know, but he was excited to put it together (even though it will prob be in our basement storage for a little while).

Meeting more Helpers

This week we had our first visit to the doctor. We will be going to a local woman's clinic that is just down the road from our house, and the hospital, so it should be a great connivance when things getting bigger and more immediate down the road. It was also a nice connivance because half the doctors there are women. Not that male doctors are bad, and I know that I prob won't care down the road who my doctor will be, but for the current circumstances, I am completely content and pleased to get to have a woman doctor for my comfort's sake. While at the doctor I had another lovely experience of peeing into a cup, I believe this going to be a fun regular thing for me along this joyous journey. I was almost blessed with the wonderful opportunity to have a pap and breast exam, and all those lovely check up sort of things, but they decided to wait on those till my next visit in a few weeks, and I had the even more exciting opportunity to have my very first ultrasound. I am so glad that my lovely helper husband was here with me for this, sitting next to holding my hand as we see first signs of a real life going on inside, and knowing that I haven't been feeling yucky for no reason. It look so energetic and wiggly and cute, and its super tiny heart was beating fast and well. The doctor said it looks like me...I am not sure that I should have taken that for a compliment though.

Here it is though, our little prune sized tike, at ten weeks and one day old! I know it doesn't look much, but it's ours and we are excited about it!

So we've met our doctors, and we've more or less been introduced to the little prune. It's going to be a great adventure helping this little guy grow and blossom inside me until it gets the real test of coming into the world.

Let the journey carry on!

Meeting the Helpers

For starters, even though this is a sort of shared journey, undoubtedly I could not deny that my wonderful husband is one of my top helpers. Without him I could not take on the challenge of this journey, and in it he has certainly helped a ton so far. Not a day goes by where he doesn't cook breakfast, help get our packed lunches and usually makes dinner too when I whine at the end of the day that I am dead beat tired. He has also been a wonderful helper in that through his work he is required to buy some of their supplies every month, and they have superb prenatal vitamins! He gives super foot rubs at the end of the day, and provides constant support when I need it. He is a wonderful helper and there is no way I would want to or think that I could take on this journey without him.

Helper number 2, which has been a wonderful reference for me so far, is this lovely book, written by someone who understands all the questions and concerns that run through a hormonal pregnant lady and put those worries to ease through this book:

I am sincerely grateful for the lovely lady who decided to write this book, because it is has been a great constant quick guide that I turn to all the time!

Along with this lovely helper of a book, I recently discovered that there is a website that goes along with it and is just as insightful and helpful! And today I learned of this new fun news in case you care to know at my 7 weekish mark:

"Your baby is now about the size of a blueberry (and about 10,000 times bigger than he was at conception). Most of that growth is concentrated in the head as new brain cells are generated at the rate of 100 per minute. Your baby's mouth and tongue are forming as arm and leg buds sprout, and those little kidneys are getting ready to do their job."

http://www.whattoexpect.com/what-to-expect/landing-page.aspx

Isn't that neat to think about, I got a tiny little blueberry going on!

And of course I can't forget another helper that I came to a realization with is my lovely stretchy pants I can jump into when I get home from the day. I don't think I have gained that much weight yet, but man when my tummy feels queasy, like it usually does, the normal waist bands around my stomach do not help, so I love it when I can go home and slip into the more comfortable pants and finally breath again!

More helpers to come, especially when I work out getting a doctor, and all those lovely fun, different experiences, which I'll be sure to up date on. Enjoy the journey- this is what I need to keep reminding myself !

Our Threshold

The threshold is the point in the journey where you have gone from your known world to the unknown and becomes the official starting point of the journey. The threshold was a gradual thing that first started when the menstrual cycle wasn't starting when I figured it would. A little nervous to see what this could result in I postponed using a home pregnancy test that I got from my bridal shower several months previous. After still not having the cycle for two weeks I decided it was time to do the test. I started in my unknown world, never having to pee on something other than in a toilet bowel or on a log out camping ( yes I sit on logs, I never could figure out squatting). The test was filling up and there was the plus sign, the positive that says you are pregnant. I let me doubts get with me because I wasn't sure I was ready for this, and didn't really let it set in yet. Four days later I decided to go to the health center on the college campus to get an official pregnancy test. Again another unknown phase: peeing into a cup, I am not sure which is more ackward, a cup or a stick. The results came quick and it is official: I am pregnant and I am due the end of December. I have stepped from my known world of living, breathing, thinking, going about as a regular person, to my new unknown world knowing that there is a super tiny little individual growing inside me, getting ready to change my life forever.

Our journey of many new unknowns has officially begun!

Our Call

Yes, I mean "our Call." Even though this journey I will share will initially be about the different things I will experience in the journey of pregnancy, I could not fail to put that the beginning of this journey started as a duet, and in many cases will somewhat be a duet throughout various times of the journey. I call it "our Call" because it was not me alone that felt "the need to restore something missing in our lives." It is amazing to consider how much Heavenly Father is a part of the creating of families. For our entire marriage so far (which hasn't been that long, but long enough to feel remotely comfortable with each other) we simply didn't feel like we were ready to start having children, we felt like I should be more focused about finishing my schooling, especially since I was so close, I didn't want a pregnancy and the many possible complications that could come with it, to interfere with me completing my degree that is so very close in view. We were determined to wait before we even considered the next phase of our family life.

Then it all changed. And the magical part about it is that it changed for both of us at the same time, without either of us forcing feelings on each other. Yes, we both felt the call. Around the end of February, towards the beginning of March 2010, we started feeling different, like a simple subtle aching difference. We couldn't really pin point what it was, or why we were feeling different, but we both felt it there. Later on, with our own separate feelings and thinking we felt like maybe it was time to start having children, or at least to start considering it more, but still didn't approach these feelings to each other for a while. Then I took part in being trained in "Positive Discipline," a parenting strategy that I feel in love with the methods, after this two weekend workshop, I felt it so strongly that I didn't have to be scared anymore about being a parent. Then each after more feelings and stirrings started to come, I felt like it was time. Even though this went off course from our original goal of waiting till I finished my Bachelor's, I came to the realization that even though I still had a semester and half left of schooling, if this was the right thing to do, then I knew that God would bless us in our decisions, and that things would work out some how. I cannot deny the feelings that came so strongly about what I felt we should do. But I still needed to talk to my husband about it. And ironically enough, when we talked he had been feeling similar things as well, and the more we discussed it, the more we felt so strongly that this was the direction we need to take. Our call had be granted, we felt something missing in our life, a hole in our hearts, we felt the need to bring a new life to this world.